"I haven’t been an adult for that long"

My friend Lexi and I pride ourselves on our completely planned and sought out for spontaneity. So we decided to buy a pack of cigarettes and go down one of my favorites- well one of the only- nature trails in or town. A few steps and puffs into the walk we began to get bitten by a bug here and there. We live in Florida, like bugs shouldn’t be that big of a deal. After about 15 minutes of toughening it out and getting eaten alive we both couldn’t handled the bugs anymore and promptly began to sprint - in all honesty it was probably closer to a jog- all the way back to her car, whilst smoking our cigarettes. Once the spontaneous had failed us, we resulted to good old fashion plans. We planned that next we would go to Walmart and buy not only bug spray but the anti itch cream we both so desperately needed. As we started our mission I to Walmart we realized we had no fucking clue where any of this stuff was, nor did either of us want to ask. Finally, someone overheard our whines and told us where the products were located. it’s like I could here siri’s voice saying, you have arrived. Then exactly upon arrival came more confusion who would have guessed such a simple product came in so many shapes, colors, sizes, roll-ons, low odor, and kids. How in the hell were we suppose to figure this out? Lucky for us our cries once again were answered and a lady directed us to the proper purchase. Lexi then said “sorry, we haven’t been adults for that long,” and that’s when it hit me, we really had not been adults for that long; how were we suppose to know how to do this?

18, that’s the year for most you are suppose to graduate High school and then bam you are independent. Almost like that diploma was breaking the contract between ourselves and our parents. In all honestly though, we are new to this lifestyle of “independence” and we are suppose to mess up but we aren’t really professionals at this whole being an adult thing, yet. Some people have it less likely and are totally independent and are totally doing this on their own, and they deserve a pay on the back.. But, today we are talking about those in limbo land like myself and my friends and like my college freshmen out there.

The limbo land of independence. The land of you work a part-time shit college job and take awful General education classes and are labeled an adult but not always treated like one. That limbo land, sucks. The land of mommy and daddy still pay for my insurances and my cell phone plan but I’m taking out 10,000 dollars in student loans- by myself. The limbo land of ” I live on my own” buy my RA has set aside quiet time and the list of rules I must follow In order to live here are longer than the ones I had back home. And don’t get me wrong, it is awesome. It’s awesome when it is 2 a.m and you are eating a breakfast burrito from pita pit and finishing up some homework. But it is also terrifying like when your car breaks down on a major highway and you as an adult are expected to fix the problem at hand. I mean we are adults now, I guess.

And while I would love to beat myself up on the fact that when first faced with some adult decisions I have cried my eyes out to my mommy and told her to fix it because I can’t. I also pride myself on being able to handle things maturely on my own. I mean I haven’t been an adult for that long so the words I say may change when I look back and call myself naïve and wonder why I cried so much over the little things. Right now though I like the excuse of “sorry, I haven’t been an adult for that long.”

Puff Puff time

Smoking has always been publicized to me as something that will lead to absolute isolation. The opposite seems to be true though now that I have found out how easily people form a community.  

My friends and I started this tradition we labeled “Puff Puff time” where we all throw in for a pack once a week. The pack becomes the community pack and we all sit around outside and enjoy our cigarettes and talk about our days. At first we viewed this as a “family activity” something for our small group to do to wind down after a long day of school. It rapidly became a networking center where people come in and out of our conversations and join our family and grow our community. The immense amounts of characters and people I have met is absolutely insane: The 20-something construction worker who just comes for a quick smoke on his break and to get a quick catch up on our days; Classmates who just rag on the professors for sport; and we can’t forget the stripper who filled our nights with stories of his clients. The funny thing about our little community is that we made a community and we are not the only ones.

We are not the only ones doing this, we aren’t any different form the others. The communities have formed over anything and everything from sports, classes, marijuana, alcoholism, greek life, and even smoking. Copious amounts of people have made their own communities like some sort of survival key to this first semester of college.